Tuesday, July 20, 2010

 UC Berkeley - Studies on Kindness

Wow, how about this? Resesearchers at UC Berkeley are challenging the beliefs that human beings are wired to be selfish. In contrast to ‘every man for him (or her) self’, social scientists are amassing evidence that shows us evolving into more compassionate and collaborative human beings. They call it ‘survival of the kindest’.

People…kind? Absolutely! This is really no surprise to me but great to have the scientific data. All around – in classrooms, religious sects, companies, nonprofit social service agencies, casual and organized groups, and neighborhoods – there are untold stories of people giving back. It’s wonderful to see.

The recent study led by UC Berkeley graduate student Laura Saslow and Sarina Rodrigues of Oregon State University, actually looked into a variation of the oxytocin gene receptor informally known as the ‘cuddle hormone.’ People with that variation are more adept at reading the emotional state of others and get less stressed out under tense circumstances. Who knew there was such a thing as cuddle hormone?

For more information, please click here.


Friday, July 16, 2010

 Inclusion Starts With Me (And You)

The United Cerebral Palsy of Greater Cincinnati brought to my attention an essay contest they held for children. The purpose? To encourage expression of the students’ own or observed feelings toward those who have disabilities, and the impact of those thoughts, with the goal that insight will foster togetherness.

Wow did that bring back memories. For eight years, my favorite annual project was helping to produce the Inclusion Leadership Awards Event – an event aimed at encouraging people to think outside the box, break down communication barriers, notice AND appreciate skills that had been under the radar. Our main communication goal was to inspire a world where people with and without disabilities work and play together not because they have to, but because they want to.

I was charged with developing those messages through the speaker, the script, the acceptance speeches and the videos so that guests would leave with a real sense of vision. In 2 ½ hours, attendees were to learn a lesson that would somehow change the world as they knew it. They heard stories of organizations that instinctively knew how to uncover talent, and of people whose abilities were no longer obscurities. Acceptance, we wanted them to realize, was not an abstract. Inclusion was not so much about ‘them’ but rather it was about ‘me’.

About ME. That’s a concept. Norman Kunc, our 2001 keynote speaker, had this to share. “In our society, we have already figured out that achievement and mastery lead to self-esteem. Where we have gone wrong is that we have forgotten that self-esteem can only come out of a context of belonging…we have idolized this ideal of independence and self-sufficiency. And what we have forgotten is that human beings need to belong…in the words of the music of Cheers, ‘where everyone knows our name and everyone’s glad we came.’ “

Actor Danny Woodburn, who normally makes a living provoking laughter, briefly left Hollywood in 2004 to remind our guests of a message from Mother Theresa, “Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible tragedy,” he said.

Danny told us his story – the story of an actor, comedian and activist whose talents were born in the hardships of a world unaccepting of a medical condition. All too well, he pointed out; he knows the sting of rejection and ridicule because he has lived it his entire life. He still gets scripts that refer to him as a ‘midget.’

But, he said, he is lucky. Through his work he has had the ability to influence attitudes. Offensive words, he’s found, are generally rooted in misunderstanding and he unabashedly corrects producers, directors and other actors. Of his character on the NBC hit Seinfeld, he said, “All it took for the success of my character was an intelligent exchange of ideas and sensitivity to the issues of little people. As a result, both Jerry (Seinfeld) and I felt included.”

Danny’s candor has bridged cultural and generational gaps, and altered misguided perceptions. (Please stay with me, I’m getting to the connection with the essay contest.) He continued to tell us about his job after college teaching drama to 20 kids between eight and ten years old.

That first day he devoted to talking about himself. Most of the questions were pretty typical. “How old are you? How tall are you? Why are you that way?,” they asked.
Then it came. The comment that would open the door behind which acceptance stood poised and waiting. An indignant girl told Danny in front of the class what her father thought of him.
“To my daddy, you are just a midget,” she said.

Danny looked at her and politely replied, “Well your daddy is wrong. Nobody is just anything and that word to me is like a hate word. And we know hate words can affect people, how they can hurt people and how it is wrong to use them.”

After that day, Danny told us, his students wanted to have their acting class – with Mr. Dan.

“I think back and I think all it took was that one day of communication, including them in who I am and nothing else needed to be said,” he went on.

Wow. That’s powerful stuff, and yet, it really is that simple.

And that is why I was so interested in the United Cerebral Palsy of Greater Cincinnati’s project aimed at opening minds and dialogue, and encouraging young people to think about the impact of their words and thoughts and actions.

“Changing the attitude of one school aged child has the ability to influence an entire generation.” said Susan S. Schiller, executive director.

UCP presented Nicole Roberts, a student from St. Mary’s School, with a family pass to Kings Island for her essay entitled ‘Inspiring Swimmers with Amazing Attitudes.’ Below is an excerpt.

For the most part, I am a typical teenage girl. Nothing scares me. I’m not afraid of the dark, I laugh at horror movies and I absolutely love to ride roller coasters, the higher the better. However, when my mom suggested I volunteer to help the Special Olympics Swim Team, I was a little nervous. It wasn't that I was scared of people with disabilities; instead I was scared of how I would act around people with disabilities. What would I say? How would I interact with them? Would I stare?

Before I became acquainted with disabled people, I felt sorry for them. I was sad for them because they have to live with hardships that limit them for the rest of their lives. I thought they were completely different than I. Wow, was I wrong! Now I see that people with disabilities are just like everyone else. They love to watch the same television shows, they go to school, they go to the movies, and even have sleepovers with their friends. They have hopes and dreams for the future, just like we all do.

My work with these amazing people has taught me so much. However, the most important lesson I've learned is that people with disabilities have abilities too. It's not about what they can't do, but should be about what they can do, what they give to society and how they inspire others. I think of my fearless swimmers when I hear these words from Thomas Jefferson, ‘Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.’ They've showed me that attitude is the key as to whether you will succeed or fail. My new friends definitely have the right attitude!

Just as in Danny’s classroom, all it took for the word ‘disability’ to become transparent in Nicole’s eyes was for her to get to know others who do things differently.

Who have you gotten to know lately?

I feel truly blessed to be able to say I have gotten to know Danny, not just as an actor, speaker, comedian, and humanitarian, but as a friend. Such depth of human character is a true gift.




Friday, July 9, 2010

 Some Of The Best Things In Life...

Below is a list I've started of some of my favorite things in life. I've posted this to my Facebook page also. If you have suggested to add, please let me know either via a comment here or login to my Facebook page and add to the note.

Thanks!
Lisa

Laughing so hard that your stomach hurts
The innocent laughter of a child
A stranger who smiles and says hello just because
Telling someone they’re special
Knowing that you’re special to someone
A flower, so beautiful filled with life
The sunset and sunrise
The sound of waves crashing down while seagulls soar overhead
Hearing your favorite song on the radio
Hearing from an old friend and realizing some things remain the same
Mint chocolate chip ice cream
Going back for that sweater that’s been on your mind and finding it on sale
A big bear hug
A tender kiss from someone special
Puppy breath

Thursday, July 8, 2010

 Random Acts of Kindness, A Beautiful Video

Every once in awhile I come across a video that has such a beautiful message that I have to share. I found this one on Youtube, on the page of 'butterflygris'. My hope is that you, too, will appreciate its meaning. Have a wonderful day!


video

Monday, June 14, 2010

 Life Lessons

From the words of a dying man, Kyle Nienaber learned about never giving up. From the undaunting spirit of a people crowded into one room shanties - makeshift homes without running water, sanitation or electricity – the 18 year old learned about hope and appreciation.

These are the lessons that can’t be taught in any textbook or school classroom. They are the life affirming consequences that occur when people reach out to one another with their hearts, their hands and their souls.

It’s a beautiful thing to see such education at an early age. Kids and teenagers are not just performing acts of kindness, but really understanding the bigger meaning. They’re learning about caring and respect and responsibility. They’re becoming a generation of people with compassion and deep rooted interest in making their world a better place.

Hospice of Cincinnati strikes me as a difficult place for a young person to choose to volunteer. But it’s become a sort of family tradition for the Nienaber’s, first with Kyle’s mom and sister and then Kyle filling his sister’s role after she graduated.

“It’s something that you can look back on and say you helped someone in their last moments on earth and it puts perspective on life,” he told me.

Especially when that perspective comes from someone with a finite time to experience life’s pleasures.

A huge sports fan, John was given six month to live when he moved into Hospice. It was Kyle’s job to bring him breakfast on weekends, which usually meant having to save the food and bring it back later – when John would finally wake up. The reason? Well, if the game happened to go long John would stay up until the last out was made or the last second ticked from the clock.

“He was always very happy and thankful to have had another night to enjoy his life and the sports he loved to watch,” Kyle said. “He very much enjoyed talking with someone about the games and I was lucky enough to be that someone on many mornings.”

But John shared so much more. His thoughts taught Kyle not just about sports but about living.
From his friend, Kyle wrote in an essay, “I learned that a person’s attitude about life can help extend it. John believed that staying with something until the very end was the best way to appreciate it. Sometimes things don’t end the way you expect. ‘That’s why they play the game,’ he used to say. Most important he used to tell me to never give up.”

Another lesson


In 2008, through Hospice Kyle traveled to South Africa where he helped its sister organization, built shanties and delivered supplies to AIDS patients. “I was one of those unappreciative Americans until I stood in that shanty town village and realized how lucky I am,” Kyle wrote about that journey.

And there, in the impoverished town in Mamelodi where hundreds of children and adults live on each acre, Kyle observed an incredible kindness and thankfulness. “The unbelievable spirit of these people makes me believe that hope is in their future and they can make progress on the very difficult issues they face as a nation.
“They taught me that compassion and caring for others knows no bounds in terms of nations, cultures and socioeconomic status.”

At home Kyle takes what he’s learned to heart, volunteering around Cincinnati. He was secretary of Beechwood High School’s Honor Society where he maintained a 4.27 GPA. And he was honored three times - with the Hospice of Cincinnati Terrific Teen Service Award, as a finalist for the Simon Lazarus Jr. Human Relations Award by American Jewish Committee, and as a YMCA Character Award recipient. He will be attending Notre Dame University this coming school year and chose it because of its focus on service.

And, as for those lessons?


“I’ve used John’s advice on many occasions since he died last year. I always try to keep a positive attitude about everything. Most recently I was inspired during a tennis match. After losing the first set, I remembered John’s words and stayed focused until the end and was able to win the match in three sets…I wish I could have told John all about it.”


Sunday, May 30, 2010

 A Special Memorial Day Message

What a special song these students from Tussing Elementary in Colony Heights, Virginia made in honor of Memorial Day. It's their way of saying 'thanks' to all of the brave men and women who so valiantly have given of themselves to protect and stand up for our country.


video

To members of our country's armed service - and their families - THANK YOU!


Wednesday, May 26, 2010

 A Girl, A Horse, And An Every Day Hero

There is something so wonderful about the relationship between animals and people. This is such a beautiful story of a Cincinnati area girl and a horse, but it is also a story about the special humanitarians who are all around us. Our every day heroes. A big thank you to Dan Horn and the Cincinnati Enquirer for sharing it with us.

Please click on the images twice to enlarge them enough to read. Thanks!